They got married… and lived happily ever after… Ah! If only the life of a couple could always be so simple! But, in the daily race, life together is often more challenging than a fairy tale! In the absence of a miracle recipe, here is 10 essential ingredients for a harmonious couple’s life.
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Touch each other
Touch helps to release the « pure happiness » endorphins in both giver and receiver. So start to walk arm in arm on the way to the grocery store. When you kiss her in the morning, stroke her cheek with your fingertips.
Relive these little gestures from your first moments together: a little kiss behind the ear, a hand through the hair, etc.
You know… Touch is a complex language and you would benefit from enriching your vocabulary.
In the long run, these small physical gestures will cement your love. However, a united couple can weather all storms (and avoid infidelities more easily). To strengthen this bond, start supporting your soul mate…. publicly.
When external conflicts arise, whenever possible, take sides with him or her. Keep his secrets to yourself even if your co-workers spread in confidence.
Unless there is an emergency, don’t let anyone interrupt the time you spend together. That’s what voicemail and bedroom latches are for.
Choose the right time and place.
Avoid difficult topics when you are tired or hungry. For the same reason, do not take alcohol during an argument. Book it instead to celebrate the return of peace.
Never discuss your marital problems if you are busy with something else. Just, turn off the TV or computer, hang up that phone and close your magazine. If you are distracted or need to go out, choose another time to talk. You can’t solve a conflict while doing something else.
Also keep in mind that the way you handle these situations is not just about you. If the discussion is likely to go wrong, stop it and resume it when the children are not around. When they are, remain respectful and effective.
Studies have shown that children thrive and develop good interpersonal skills when parents solve problems constructively. On the other hand, loud voices and cries of helplessness lead to insecurity and behavioural problems.
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To make your relationship last: you need romance and sex!
The ingredients of a flourishing love story? Romanticism and sex! To do this, you need to know how to spice up your relationship and surprise each other.
On the program: naughty board games, new sexual positions and why not the use of sex toys.
The most important thing is communication. Tell your sweetheart some of your fantasies, tell him what makes you succumb every time.
Also remember to reassure him and express your love. Tell him when he does you good, that you love to succumb to his caresses and vice versa. There is nothing better than self-confidence and love for others for a fulfilling sex life. Check out our 7 wellness tips for an exciting bedroom.
An important point! If you have children, a romantic date with your partner is a must. It must be planned and put on the agenda, otherwise you may not take the time to make it happen.
Its frequency may be once or more per week, but at least twice a month, according to experts. And whether it’s for an evening or an afternoon: we provide childcare.
The day of the week may or may not change, but the program should vary. And whatever the activity (cinema and dinner at the restaurant, hand in hand skating, erotic evening at home, massage for two before going out for a drink and dancing), the menu must include romanticism, intimacy, love, seduction and sexuality…
Just to remind you that in addition to being parents, you are a couple. And you need a couple’s life! Does such an appointment seem to you to be devoid of spontaneity? Your busy schedule is probably just as busy!
Pull him up, congratulate him, thank him
At the beginning of a relationship, you congratulate, compliment the other and then it fades. « Well… you know I already told you that. » Hearing it always does you good. And also allows you to push the other a little further in moments of doubt, of questioning. Knowing that you can count on your half to be encouraged, congratulated (even when they are small things) boosts your self esteem.
If you feel some resistance to the previews advice, You may be need to ask the right questions.
Because, everyone needs recognition. Know how to tell your partner that he is beautiful, that you like him, that you appreciate the way he dresses. Simple things that make it easier to hear. When we don’t take care of the other person, he goes elsewhere to look for what he doesn’t have at home.
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Don’t lie to yourself, arguments are inevitable. The Secret of a happy couple’s life is that everyone puts their energy into defusing the conflict rather than stirring it up.
Instead of putting up the pressure, making accusations just to have the last word, it is important to stay calm and try to find a solution.
What is done is done. It is now time to reflect and try to make things right.
Your priority should be: to create a safe space where each member of the couple can express themselves with confidence. When couple members feel free to express themselves without judgment, they can dare to reveal their fears, dreams and vulnerabilities.
In these cases, the couple’s intimacy and complicity become a basic ingredient in the development and maintenance of a lasting relationship.
By showing compassion and building trust, couples are more likely to put down their masks in order to access their true essence and that of their partner.
Accept the difference of your partner
In the first moments of the meeting, this difference attracts us, intrigues us. But once the euphoria subsides, it can irritate us. The other person’s particularities can annoy us simply because they do not work like us, especially if your couple’s life pass trough some ups and downs.
It is normal to experience some disagreements. Knowing this allows you to put less energy into convincing the other person. Happy couples accept that their partner’s perception is not always the same as their own.
They are open to the needs of the other and take into account his or her uniqueness.
In the event of a disagreement, they choose to try to understand rather than make people understand! In this way, they open up themselves to a different vision of their own by accepting that not everything is done in their own way.
Therefore, they realize that it is acceptable, and even desirable, to have divergent opinions on certain subjects since they are respectively individuals in their own right.
Be good friends
While this may seem strange, a good couple’s life needs a true friendship to function. An affection and complicity that goes beyond simple passion.
Once the intensity of the beginnings has subsided, it is this deep understanding that allows a couple to last, to love each other differently and to overcome periods of crisis. Like two friends, we must be able to take advantage of what brings us together and not let what opposes us get in the way.
Remember to forget the little annoyances! Ask yourself if what irritates you is really worth fighting about.
Is something wrong or is it just different from what you would do? Let the differences live on without commenting on them. If something really bothers you, talk about it without looking accusatory and see if you can fix the problem without arguing.
Continually renew your contract
To last, rely on 4 pillars: communication, tenderness and sexuality, values and commitment. With age, sexuality evolves and is not always as active as in the beginning of the relationship.
That doesn’t mean that love doesn’t exist anymore! Passion fades but gives way to tenderness, which shows the respect and trust that have been established.
It takes shared values to build a healthy couple’s life. Contradictory values are not a dead end, as long as you are able to decipher what is behind them.
Why am I for public school and my spouse for private school? Why is he spending money and thinks I’m selfish? Often, our values reflect the hidden part of an iceberg, which has been formed through our history, our experience, and which it is exciting to discover together.
Some young people are more interested in forming a happy couple than a lasting one. However, the challenge and difficulty lies in being a happy and lasting couple. Couple’s life means commitment.
Neither fixed-term nor permanent contracts, it is a voluntary commitment freely made, without interruption and renewable.
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Take care of yourself
Some people do not always allow themselves to take care of themselves. Spoil yourself! Get easy mesmerising eyes, or a totally new elegant look with your shoes.
In addition, many psychologists advocate avoiding fuzzy concessions in a couple’s life; they are time bombs. It is essential not to sacrifice personal needs, but to ensure that they are identified and met throughout one’s life.
It is a condition for being fertile, for being able to give to your couple and children.
Do not expect your partner to satisfy all your needs, for example: he is neither a doctor nor a drug. Everyone must be balanced before investing in a couple’s life. An emotional need is resolved in the shrink.
Once settled, it makes it possible to love the other for himself, in truth.
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